People Want to Connect Across Differences— Let’s Help Them
A new report provides compelling insights that can inform our community engagement practices. (Reading Time: 5 minutes)
A note from Eric: My apologies for the radio silence over the past couple months. I’ve struggled to make time to write (or record) while teaching two classes at the University of Washington, and the construction of a new public space project. Things have settled down now, so stay tuned for a steady drip of awesomeness from The Answer is Community.
Did you know that Democrats and Republicans perceive almost double the number of “extreme” views among their political opponents than actually exist? Or that non-Evangelicals overestimate by ten times how much Evangelicals say political party affiliation is their most important identity?
These factoids come from
, an organization that conducts rigorous research about people’s differences and commonalities. They do great work, and I highly recommend you follow their Substack.Their latest report, released in March 2025, The Connection Opportunity, is a doozy.
The Connection Opportunity surveyed 6000 Americans about bridging across lines of difference.
Bridging our differences- particularly political, religious, socioeconomic and racial identity groups — is a major component of restitching our frayed in social fabric.
The work of bridging happens best within our place-based communities. This is where we interact with others in real life and build the bottom-up muscle memory for a pluralistic democracy.
Bridging is the complement to connecting, or building strong social networks within our communities of place. Ideally, connecting also bridges identity groups. But anywhere we are building relationships and shared place-based identities is a step in the right direction.
Together, these two distinct but complementary processes — bridging and connecting — are the route out of the wreckage of our fragmented society.
Readers of The Answer is Community will be familiar with how the practice of community engagement in design, planning, and policy can be a powerful tool for bridging and connecting. The Connection Opportunity provides some compelling findings that can inform this work. Let’s take a look.
People want to connect across difference
Do ever feel like people just don’t care about others? Think again.
According to the Connection Opportunity, 70% of Americans feel a sense of responsibility to connect with people whose backgrounds and viewpoints differ from their own.
In addition, 66% agree that they can “learn a lot” from connecting with people who have different backgrounds and viewpoints.
That’s a folks still onboard for this great pluralistic experiment called American Democracy.
However, our attitudes don’t directly translate into action. So More in Common dove deeper…
People will bridge differences if others are doing it
The Connection Opportunity found that the strongest factor influencing bridging behavior is “perceived cultural norms,” or the belief that connection across differences is both common and valued in one’s community.
Humans are profoundly social creatures. Our internal wiring drives us to look to other people for cues about how to behave. If others are doing it and say it’s okay, we’ll likely do it too.
However, we also take cues from our leaders and respect social hierarchies. Even if a community doesn’t widely hold a cultural norm of connecting across differences, conveners of public processes can act as bridging catalysts.
This is why “support by a higher authority, law, or custom” is grouped together as one of the four conditions for bridging first identified by social psychologists Gordon Allport and Thomas Pettigrew.
Intergroup anxiety is a major barrier
The Connection Opportunity found that the second most significant factor is people’s anxiety about intergroup interactions.
This lines up with decades of social psychology research which has uncovered two emotional mechanisms at the heart of bridging: 1) inducing empathy or perspectives taking, and 2) reducing anxiety.
If we want community engagement to support bridging, then we need to center practices that create low anxiety situations for people of different backgrounds to share perspectives. If you are wondering how to do that, start with my previous post here.
We need to approach bridging sideways
More in Common’s findings about intergroup anxiety also supports why we need to approach bridging from a sideways direction.
Very few people are going to show up for your “bridging” or “depolarization” effort. In fact, More in Common’s research showed that people are *least* interested in engaging in conversations about group differences.
But folks will show up if there is something significant happening where they live that is open to public participation. This sleight of hand is one of the secret powers of community engagement.
Speaking of...
People want to work together to improve their community
Respondents to More on Common’s survey indicated that the bridging activity they were most interested in was “working to achieve a mutual goal that improves their community.”
A whopping 76% said that they wanted to work together to improve their community.
76%!
But there is a jaw-dropping gap between desire and opportunity
Okay, here’s the kicker.
We just learned that the most popular activity for bridging differences is “working to achieve a mutual goal that improves their community.” Three quarters of us gave a thumbs-up to that idea.
So what’s the activity Americans are least likely to have participated in over the last year?
Drum roll, please.
“Working to achieve a mutual goal that improves your community.”
Yup, you just heard that. Only 17% said they had that opportunity in the past year!
By the way, did you notice the difference between those percentages?
There is a 57% gap between people’s desire to improve their community and the opportunity to do so!
Okay, let’s pause for a moment.
Just imagine what could happen if we tapped into that 57% Americans who want to improve their community but don’t have the opportunity? What world could we build?
Just imagine what could happen if we tapped into that 57% Americans who want to improve their community but don’t have the opportunity? What world could we build?
In addition, it is just mind-boggling that in the face of our crisis of social fragmentation, we are so catastrophically failing to take advantage of this potential.
There’s a million ways to do this. A careful look around turns up a plethora of inspiring folks stepping into this void. New groups. New initiatives. New funding. New platforms.
and ’s recent Substack post, “A New American Awakening” wonderfully captures our current moment on this cusp of civic renewal.Over here in community engagement’s corner, every time we convene a community to deliberate on design, planning, and policy, it’s a chance to tap into the latent desire of people to work together to bridge their differences. It’s an opportunity to contribute to this burgeoning movement of social renewal.
People WANT to bridge and connect. And they want to do it by working together to improve their community.
Community engagement checks all the boxes. More in Common’s report shows that this potential is sitting there. Untapped. Just waiting. Will you pick it up?
~Eric
What Else I’m Reading
“A New American Awakening” by Sam Pressler and Pete Davis
In case you missed my shout out in the above post, don’t miss this inspiring post capturing our current moment on the cusp of civic renewal.
“From Organic Community to Synthetic Connection” by Sam Pressler and
Sam and company keep hitting them out of the ball park! Sam and Soren perfectly capture how our online lives and media environments erode our real life communities — and what we can do about it. Don’t miss it!
“The Lost Art of Lingering” by Reimagining the Civic Commons
This fascinating interview with researcher Dr. Arianna Salazar-Miranda documents how people are lingering less and walking faster through public spaces. It’s another data point for how passive open spaces, even well designed ones, are losing their capacity for connecting and bridging.
“Making eye contact and small talk with strangers is more than just being polite − the social benefits of psychological generosity” by Linda Tropp
Social psychologist Linda Tropp talks about how practicing “psychological generosity” is good for both our communities and our mental health. Thank you Linda!